Back (For now?)

A couple years have passed since my last post. Not that anyone has noticed...

I decided to give it a whirl today. Let's see if I can drum up anything funny.

It's Summer

What time is it? Let this guy break it down for you...

Pieces Of Flair

I simply cannot decide whether or not this guy is serious. He either took the spirit of the "pieces of flair" restaurant manager from Office Space and ran with it in a beautiful way, or he really has a blonde mullet, a horrible taste in music and enough money to hire massage parlor girls to pretend that they can't live without him.

Bonus: Canadian



If you want more (or better yet can't stand the thought of more)....here's more:

I want to talk about your flair

Come Back Later To Attempt To Commit A Crime

For all of you technology snobs. Do NOT throw away your CD player from 1997.

It may save your life or the life of your wife at home. In fact, keep that thing within arm's reach of the front door. You NEVER know when a bad actor with a huge kitchen knife and a gigantic ream of keys may stroll up to your front door in the middle of the day to do some rapin'.

Turns out, you only need to let him hear that your apparently-out-of-work-pissed-off-brother-that-is-at-your-house-on-a-weekday-catching-a-nap is frustrated at the notion that somebody woke him up with a knock.

"Come back later". Perhaps the writers could come up with a scenario where they suggest the murdering rapist never come back. I guess that's where they get you with the upsell.

"Buy the 'Never Come Back' anti-rape CD now!"

Clever marketing.

How You Feelin' Toronto!!?

This is one of my favorite internet finds in ages....

As evidenced by the fact that I haven't updated this damn blog in nearly a year. Well...here it is...the thing that made me come back.

What is it, you ask? Good question. The description completely underserves the reality.

Description: Paul Stanley of KISS talking to crowds in between songs
Reality: Today's rock stars are way too cool for this. I'm both thrilled and bummed at this truth.

Throwing Mechanics

Guy from Argentina makes short film showing dudes throwing rocks with their opposite hands.

Either that, or it's the South American tryout tape for the next Florida Gators QB. Either way, it's pretty funny.

Men Throwing Rocks With The Other Hand from Juan Etchegaray on Vimeo.

Three Buzzword Gem

Often times, the combination of 3 words in a title can make or break something. For instance, Vacation Bible School. (I stole this joke for the good of the argument). Those are 3 things that no kid really likes. And furthermore, you can't put any 2 of those words together and get excited...

School + Vacation
Vacation + Bible
Bible + School

Now let's take a look at the genius of this movie's title...

Computer Beach Party. All are winning combinations here.

Computer + Party - of course
Beach + Party - what are you, an A-HOLE?
Beach + Computer - it's a stretch for the 80's culture but I'll allow it here.

Bonus points - we get to go backwards in time and make fun of not only the fashion and haircuts of the past...but also of their stupid understanding of their lame Utopian Future.

The only other time I've observed such wizardry in nomenclature was a place in Acapulco called, "Sexy Club Gym". Didn't go in but I'll bet you 30 pesos and a Jarritos Grape drink that it kicked ass in every one of those categories and there wasn't a Bible or classroom to be found.



COMPUTER BEACH PARTY
(from Found Footage Festival)