Friday, April 2, 2010

Twain Was a Putz

Mark Twain said a lot of clever shit. He once said something to the effect of, "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's Heaven on Earth."

Well, I say bollocks. You should, as a man, never dance. Unless you are trying to get laid (gay and straight both..same motivation). Singing is ONLY for when you are in your car or shower and absolutely fucking nobody can hear you. We've all been hurt, so loving like you're oblivious to this possibility makes you an imbecile...and living like it's Heaven on Earth means I can't drink...so piss off.

Anyhow...I'd like to see Twain defend this one:



Or this one:

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