Happy Almost New Year

Hint: She says, "no more pushing" right before the good part.

Saturday Medley

Sometimes in life you have to ask yourself and others..."Do you really mean to tell me that you are prepared to antagonize me? Are you sure you want to tangle with someone as awesome as me?" In short..."who you finna try?"



One badass I'm not finna try...Kurt Thomas, world class American gymnast. It seems producers thought the American public was hungry for a new kind of kick ass. One that combines the brute strength of karate with the grace and elegance of gymnastics. If only they could've wrangled Baryshnikov to play his Cold War Russian nemesis, The Ballet Ninja. Can you imagine the finale? Spoiler alert...the trailer tells you every single thing that happens in the entire movie and shows every fight scene. Sadly, no fight with Micky B.

Shotgun!

Try as you may but you could not replicate (or exceed) the stench of this movie if you assigned three drunken Latvian coalminers the task of shooting the Elk's Club Bingo night with a VHS camera and a wobbly tripod.

And by that I mean, of course, I marvel at it and chuckle in utter disbelief. Found this one on Everything Is Terrible...a great blog with tons of funny shit.

Double "Holy Sh*t" Face, Eyebrow Raise Facepalm Question Mark

I seem to be stumbling onto more and more of these crazy, hilarious, and quite frankly, psychotic videos of people that are way too into their dance moves.

They make me laugh but I can't pinpoint why. I guess it's the same thing as making fun of my dad's glasses that are way too big. He loves them and doesn't give a shit. That gives me guilt free permission to goof. The indifference and sincere devotion is a lethal comedic combo.

In other words, I rationalize well. Enjoy. You're responsible for why you laugh.

The Sum of the Parts

Ok...so George Lucas has an idea to produce a movie. He hires the writers from "American Graffiti" and "Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom". Then he brings in Producers with (future) credits like, "Saving Private Ryan", "Spider Man" and others. Throw Tim Robbins in the cast and I think anyone would agree that this is a formula that puts you in a pretty good position to succeed...right?

That is, of course, before somebody in the room said, "let's make it about a duck from outer space". Then somebody else blurted out, "live action with a midget in a duck suit!".

George scratched his chin and nodded slowly. This shit could really work.



Proof positive that the sum of the whole does not necessarily equal the sum of its parts. In this case, I am happy for that. I mean...if american cinema didn't have in its history a duck ripping an impromptu guitar solo (after saving the planet)...where would we be? Really..tell me.

Now...if someone would please just give me a call about this live action Flintstone's thing I got knocking around in my head...oh wait.

Before We All Forget

Somewhere in the depths of my mind is a series of storage units. Some of them are shut and I wish they were open. Hell, I'd have to remember that they were even there to figure out that I wish they were open. Other units in the deep parts of my brain are locked because I locked them. I know they're there. I locked them on purpose. Who then, is the insufferable assbag that stole the key, crept down into my subconscious cellar and popped the lock on the door marked, "Popozao"?
It's the first word that popped in my brain when I woke up. Either the very time-space continuum itself is on the verge of collapse...or it's time for some K-Fed up in this bitch. Since both lead to each other...let's all enjoy this nugget one last time. Sorry for reminding you. You can stuff it back down the rabbit hole after you watch this in it's entirety...if you dare.

Federline's PopoZão
Uploaded by boraboraman. - See more comedy videos.

A Friend of Mine

This one is funny in the category of "head scratcher". I didn't necessarily burst out laughing...but I think you'll laugh as confusion sets in and plops it's ass on your couch...and stays there. Too long. Way too long.

Think, Skankin Pickle meets Jim Jones meets the church down the street from you meets your creepy uncle meets 1983 on beta.

Renewed Mind

File Under: So painful that you simply must watch.

Make sure you gut it out to the part where the dude breaks it down. Yes. He busts out into a pop and lock to moonwalk trainwreck combo. All with a creepy smile on his face and a freshly renewed mind which is...as you know...the key.

24 Accents For The English Language

Stick with this one...this kid is unreal and creative. It's a bunch of accents, all in English

When Will It End

I love irony and retro as much as the next guy but when will the hipster thing end? Problem is...when it ends, won't it be immediately ironic and hip? Oh well...in the meantime let's have a laugh or two.


This one is a little long but there's some great moments

Redux and a Random

This made me laugh. It's a variation on a remix of a random story...

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

this is just something random that guarantees a laugh...

Higher Power

I really miss Robert Tilton. It was so great to watch him literally rob people in the name of God...

Incoming

Nice leg...and the aim is either perfect or awful depending on how big a bastard the guy is...

Dogs and the Hoff

What better combination on a beautiful Saturday than dog ass and David Hasselhoff. Call it...Asselhoff.

The Hoff video is way old but I believe it holds up enough today to be included. Plus, I needed an excuse to use the word Asselhoff.


And now for bum dragging. Gross but hilarious.

A Message From Antoine

Story about home invasion...not funny.

Story about home invasion that is foiled by an effeminate thug who later recounts the tale on local news, complete with taunts for the intruder?...very funny.

Go ahead and just start at the 1:00 mark and jump straight to the good stuff.



First remix



BEST Remix. Autotune is an outstanding tool.

This Is Hip Hop

File under: Cringe-worthy.

There is no better source for learning raw hip hop dancing than a psuedo-rednecky white chick in a suburban dance studio. She likes the hippity hop and has the moves to prove it. The back up dancers complete the total and utter train wreck.

Dena Does Hip Hop:

The Worst Is Often The Best

Today I saw one of the best movies I've seen in years...Inception. I also saw one of the worst...and I loved it all the same. If you want to see a real cinematic turd and you want to laugh every step of the way then buy a ticket to Predators and marvel at Adrien Brody unraveling years of credible acting in 2 hours.

I left the theater convinced that I saw the absolute worst movie of the year. That is until I saw this...

Go to their website and suffer through more videos and demand that they screen the movie in your town. I'm seriously considering the 10 hour drive to St. Louis.


http://www.birdemic.com/

THIS JUST IN...Worst TV Movie of the Year! It's Sharktopus!

Does It Ever Cease To Amaze?

I know this is a really old clip. I can't help it. If it makes me laugh...the rule is to post it regardless if it has passed the socially acceptable timestamp for memes...which I believe is about 2 hours these days. Whatever.

Just watch this shit and if you laugh or stare in disbelief, I've done what I set out to do.

Bottom line...stuff about Douchebags isn't new. It's just funny.

Listen closely at the very end, "I can't wait to watch this on fuckin Youtube!"...neither could we, sir. Neither could we.


Incidentally, when he said "gotta shake that ass" this is what he meant. Yes...this is the same guy. Yikes.

Misdirected Hostility

I would love to someday know what fires this guy up so much to explode about this subject at this place and time. For now, I will just consider myself lucky that someone had the courtesy to turn the camera on. He really doesn't like joggers, news reporters, those that run, people with mercedes benz sedans, or chauvinistic pigs. Preach on, sir.


And of course, no video of a raving lunatic is complete without remixing his erratic behavior to fresh beats (or lame beats...)...either way, here's the leading candidate at the moment. Sadly, the remix did not add teeth.

Mother Fudgers....Die! Cocka Roaches

Let's just go ahead and put the philosophical debate to the side. For good or for ill, this is the hilarious byproduct of a sizable lapse in adult judgement deserving of your attention and laughter.

Win the Game!

This is a real ad from a few years ago. How I didn't see this earlier I'll never know. I find it hilarious and sad at the very same time. It's yet another indicator that "Idiocracy" is here and now. On the express train to hell one may as well laugh at the scenery zipping by...

Country Hip Hop

Now let's meet our Hip Hop Dancers! ...what a bunch of assholes

TNT!

Ok...so it's not the Tommy Lee with the kick stand for a third leg but what do you get when you combine an unknown guitar playing guy named Tommy Lee with a top heavy keyboardist named Tammy Renee? TNT of course. And when you mix said elements, the results...much like TnT itself...can be explosive, or at least a bit strange and funny. In any case, it calls for a "Celebration".


If your head has not yet exploded and you need to see the TnT version of, "Word Up" or "Caribbean Queen" then click below at your own risk.

http://www.youtube.com/tommyandtammy1

I don't really know what to make of this one honestly. It's Tammy doing solo Celine Dion but it's so much more than that really. The special effects and transitions leave one speechless.

There's a Douche on the Pitch!

While I am completely in favor of instantly tazing any assbag that dares enter a field of play, I would be a liar if I said that it doesn't sometimes provide for great entertainment. I guess either way it works for me. Either some jamoche is getting a tazer to the ribs...or he runs around and sticks one in the back of the net.



Absolutely NO reason to watch all 8 minutes of this one. The good stuff is right up front.


I've got him for offside...but nice work, nonetheless


RIght place, right time. Well executed.


Couple good ones in this montage. Worth it if only for the horse race guy. I give him points for originality

Soccer Is Gay!

I absolutely love soccer, football...whatever you want to call it. I love the World Cup and everything about it. However, this piece is absolutely brilliant...as the Onion often is.

¡Yo Soy Un Naco Estupido!

Perhaps wrasslin' is fake. Perhaps they pull punches and calculate violence in such a manner as to entertain without actually hurting the other participant. If, however, you pull on a Luchador's mask you've earned an ass whoopin' en realidad.

Don't poke the bear, toughguy.

High As F%$k

Not much weed smoking in my past. Not a huge fan of weed humor...however...I AM a fan of Jon Lajoie and this song is funny as hell. Any chance I get to post something from this dude.

Mitch Hedberg

One of the best stand up comics ever. I just got on a Hedberg kick today and wanted to share. I freakin love this dude. Wish I would have seen him perform live.

Can NOT Wait For This Movie

Holy Shit! This is the best concept for an internet-sensation-turned-movie idea I've seen yet. It's not that it's so original that nobody would have thought about it....it's that they found this guy and he is apparently everything you would hope for as a true character. I cannot freakin wait for this movie.

Gandalf Freestyles

There are several reasons that this impression rocks. Not the least of which is that this kid is the last person on Earth (visually) that should be able to nail the Gandalf voice. I also dig what he actually does with the impression. Instead of just aping lines from the films, he puts an original spin on it.

For reference....here's his source material....


And now...Gandalf...


Here's my other favorite from this kid:


Speaking of "Saved By The Bell"...this is classic:

The DJ

I used to internally debate over which is a crappier DJ....the guy at the roller skating rink that is a bit too old to be at the roller skating rink and he sat up in that booth with the carpeted walls around it and you had to stand on the tip toe stopper thing on your rental skates to request a Billy Squier song?...or...the DJ I saw once at a shoe store. Huh? Yeah, a fucking DJ was workin the 1's and 2's at the local shoe store in my little town. It was called the Shoe Carnival and the dude was running contests and spinning some crazy prize wheel and generally annoying the four people looking to buy their keds and get the fuck out of there. Well...the debate ends here. Unless you start with the guy at the dive strip club...whole different category.

Funny AND French

Alright...jokes and slags about the French are way too easy. I'm going to take the high road here and give credit where credit is due. This dude is seriously out of his mind. I can't decide whether I'd laugh or want to kill him if he pranked me...and I suppose therein lies the humor.

For the record, I am really surprised he's not more famous in the U.S. and I'm a little surprised he's still alive.

In any case, I truly laughed loud and often at this montage...and that is good enough for me.

Arnold Is A Classic

If you have almost ten minutes to spiral down the Arnold vortex, click below and marvel.

Mascots Up in Here

Fuckin Mascots...

What's My Name?

The American Dream...start your own business...risk it all...make a NAME for yourself.

So...why in the fee faw fuck would you go to all the trouble only to let this happen....?

I can only guess that there is a language barrier, it was a committee decision...or these people have bad friends that lie to them...

Fun With The News

Nietzsche Is Full of Shit

Like Yoda and Mark Twain...Nietzsche said a lot of cool shit. People who know all the cool shit he said think they're smarter than you and me. I don't know much about the dude except a few quotes. All his wisdom is lost on me however with this one, "We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once."

Nietzsche didn't have youtube.





huh?


Just for shits n' giggles

Troll 2

Ever seen the movie, "Troll"?

No? Me neither. But I'll tell you this...I've seen Troll-mother-fuckin-2.

It makes no sense. The word "troll" is never uttered. The town in the movie is called Nilbog. That's right. Goblin backwards. Holy SHIT!

I advise a full night with popcorn, beer, friends, the works...for now the trailer should be enough.

Related clips all over Youtube as well. Masterful.

A New Favorite Trend

I'm really digging shitty fight scenes lately.



huh?


Not a fight scene..just a classic

Twain Was a Putz

Mark Twain said a lot of clever shit. He once said something to the effect of, "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's Heaven on Earth."

Well, I say bollocks. You should, as a man, never dance. Unless you are trying to get laid (gay and straight both..same motivation). Singing is ONLY for when you are in your car or shower and absolutely fucking nobody can hear you. We've all been hurt, so loving like you're oblivious to this possibility makes you an imbecile...and living like it's Heaven on Earth means I can't drink...so piss off.

Anyhow...I'd like to see Twain defend this one:



Or this one:

Ninja Weapons

I always wondered why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles didn't use their freakin weapons.



Speaking of Turtlemania. I am in love with this as well....

Fantastic!

As stated several times on this blog...I love things that try very sincerely to be awesome and fall short with a huge thud. I appreciate the effort and intention. You can't rightly duplicate that type of quality.

For instance, this fight scene is awesome. Not because it's awesome but because when it was made, the guys who made it thought it was awesome. Please watch to the end for the cherry on top. High fives all around when they yelled "cut" on the final take of this one.

Angry Guy

I am guilty of getting riled up over nonsense...we all are to some degree I guess. I don't, however, think I would get this riled up if my job was to sell RV's and all I had to do is read, recite, or improvise dialogue about the new Winnebago. This dude was absolutely not cut out for this task....except for our purposes, I wouldn't assign it to anyone else in the world.

A Couple Sports Posts

Every year, bad highlight films of superstar highschool athletes litter youtube. The music is too loud, the graphics awful and the video quality is awful. The hope is that the video will showcase their talent and get some coach from a big school to notice and offer a scholarship.

This is a fantastic goof on that theme. Meet the newest 5-star recruit..Mike Nobler


Now...under normal circumstances I would rather be forced at rusty knifepoint to participate in a Russian fart eating contest than sit thru :03 seconds of John Tesh...but this is cheesy and sorta funny and sorta cool all at the same time.

Mostly cheesy and worthy of goofing on...so enjoy. I particularly enjoy the Captain Crunch looking dude on violin battling the guitarist whom I think may have to take a shit. In any case, I think it's that dude that used to play for Saturday Night Live and looked like he had to take a shit when they did his close up on the way to commercial...so...either there are two guitar dudes out there too old to have long hair and frozen with a perpetual "gotta back one out" face...or it's the same dude.

For The Little Ones

Not sure what sparked the urge but I wanted to direct your attention to one video you may not know...and one that you probably know but if you don't, you will not soon forget. Both will kick you in the shins.

First, A short from Dave Hill. It's from a web series for the defunct Super Deluxe:


Millions of viewers have marveled at the littlest superstar. Simply hypnotizing.

Flammable?

Are you fucking kidding me? This marks the height of our Douche Bag nation. When a backwards robe and slippers just isn't casual and comfortable enough...enter...The Hoodie Footie.

It's official...we have outbred and/or outsmarted nature and overcome natural selection. We're past the fork in the road. We took the left at Albuquerque. Mother Nature sighs, knowing she's been defeated...decides to take a nap in her brand new Pink Hoodie Footie.

Bad Local Commercials

Local commercials possess the ingredients that I enjoy most. Sincere desire to create something great..coupled with a complete lack of talent to execute.

EyeTech Productions


Ealgeman


I believe these guys who did the Red House spot actually make the commercials bad on purpose...which might be harder than making it good on purpose. In any case, I like the outcome here.

The Red House

It's Still Real To Me Damn It!

This is from a couple years back...some local panel of wrestlers from some podunk Mid-Southern-Atlantic-Regional-Tri-State-Wrasslin-Federation-type of organization offers a chance for fans to talk back to the wrestling superstars...in a high school gym. One dude really appreciates their efforts.


Also...I didn't care for any of the Super Bowl Ads. A couple were decent. However...it's very cool that there's a place to see every Super Bowl Ad from last night.

The Monkeysphere

We are all monkeys. As such, we can only care about so many people in a meaningful way...behold the theory of the Monkeysphere.

http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html

No Direction Period. Bob Dylan

A really good Bob Dylan piece from a couple of years ago.

A Couple More Classics

These are old but I love them. Watch them again even if you've seen them. They hold up over time.

Shit My Dad Says

I don't need to explain this link much more than to say that this dude just started posting things his father says.

Simple. Elegant. Hilarious.

Dude just got a sitcom deal out of it too.

http://shitmydadsays.tumblr.com/

Stern Stuff

A couple great things from the world of Howard Stern.

A great game with wack packer, Beetlejuice
http://my.howard.tv/beetle-mismatch-game

Richard and Sal make prank phone calls:


Here they call a show called, "Tradio". It's a super Christian radio show where you buy and sell stuff (a radio ebay)... with an old redneck fucker for a host. Richard and Sal call up trying to sell funny shit and purposely racist shit to goof on him. If you've got 9 1/2 minutes...this is freakin great.
**Note** almost every call is either Richard or Sal. So great.

Worst Rap Battle in the History of Mankind

If you think the host sucks...hang around for the rapping. If you think the first rapper sucks...PLEASE hang around for the second dude, Eli...aka MC Cringeworthy

Howling at the Moon

When my wife and I visit her parents in Canada, I always make a point to take a stroll thru a store called Giant Tiger. It's like a drug store without the drugs with stuff from years ago...but somehow awesome in every way. I buy a pair of sandals every year from there for a whopping $8 Canadian. I bought this gem back in December and haven't hardly taken it off.

It was between this and a huge pissed off bear face hoodie. Or another wolf pattern...or...and I think I'm going to send my mother-in-law on a mission...a huge eagle.

Anyhow, I opted for the black-background-multi-wolf-moon-howling-thingy-pattern.

$14 Canadian dollars
100% Polyester.
100% Pussy repellent
The only thing you'll attract with this is dog hair and sideways glances.

Sunday Classic

The Dancing Outlaw is a 1991 documentary film about Jesco White, a West Virginia Mountain dancer, that caught fire years ago . Watch the first clip of it and perhaps you'll see why.


Jesco's family gets wild. Listen closely to his sister describing how often they do this


Jesco talks about eggs


Here's another


At one time there were enough clips on Youtube to watch the entire show. I can't seem to piece it together at the moment.

Here's Jesco's Wikipedia page
Here's the Official Site

Japan Is A Different World

This video says a lot about Japan. Exactly what...I'm not sure. This bizarre and hilarious clip proves that litigation and liability issues have not ruined Japan just yet. This is a prank from a TV show.

Apparently in Japan you grab handles when you drop a deuce in a Porta-John.

So...dude has girlfriend hold the purse...enters porta john...drops his pants...grabs the handles and...

Hertzfeldt

Don Hertzfeldt is fantastic. Watch this one and then go to his site HERE
Just brilliant.

Many have tried to copy his style but all have failed. A true original.

Tape Measure Experts

Ok...so I saw this on Boing Boing first. Yeah...that's right. So what? I love that site and I chose to share the same thing on my blog. You got a problem with that? No..seriously...is that lame or what? Ugh. I'm just starting out here, I don't have eleventy-hundred people sending me cool funny shit. So for now watch this. If you haven't been to Boing Boing, you're missing it.

The News Formula

Here's a great one that a friend sent me. It's from the UK but their news is apparently the exact same formula.


I love the anonymous shots of midsections. So perfect.

More from Charlie Brooker HERE

Couple Links

My friends point me in the direction of great stuff all the time. Here are a couple.

This one is from a buddy in advertising. It's called Stop Babies and Puppies and it allows you to make a cliche' commercial in minutes! Pretty damn funny...and sadly accurate
http://www.stopbabiesandpuppies.com/

This one is from a friend who builds/develops web sites. It's a page where anonymous people post snippets (text) of real client interactions.
http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com/

And just for the hell of it...

Heavy Metal Parking Lot

Here's a small dose of one of my favorite films. It's from a 15 minute short called, "Heavy Metal Parking Lot". It's less of a documentary and more of just letting people be themselves in their truest form. Which, in this case, would be drunk Judas Priest fans in a parking lot before the show. Simple and fantastic, I suggest carving out 15 minutes some day and taking it all in...

I was a freshman in high school in '86 and knew tons of kids like this. Never thought I'd think that the '80s were simpler times...but there's something innocent in all their posturing and rebellion.

Stuff I Want

I'm not really sure what the hell I would do with this except float around 20 feet above the lake and be awesome...but I feel that might be enough for me.


Also..save your pennies...so you can shoot them at people. Again...no practical usage here. Just fun to have.

Time For Dumplings

So my wife decides that tonight is the night for dumplings. She is a comparative shopper with a sharp eye. So...you work at an advertising agency. In comes the account for a fucking dumpling company. Great...I think I'll go huff paint. No...not if you work for the ad agency that reps Mary Hill Dumplings. No Sir. It's time to turn up the heat and get to know your target market. You smoke a shit ton of weed and pitch this gem to your client. And it works.


Sure...it's a portrait of Mary herself...but dig deeper for the coup.


To borrow a phrase..Fuckin-A.

Bravo, sir. Well done. Not only is there irony but you hit a fucking home run with the most boring client since the Stanley Steamer account in '97.

Sidenote/Educated guess...my drug history is limited to a couple of joints and a whippet in my friend's driveway in the eighth grade...but i'm guessing that YES to drugs would lead to more YES to dumplings.

Monday McDonald's Fun

I think I'm going to get in the habit of posting fast food nonsense. Here's one from December. This woman goes batshit crazy because her order was messed up.



Perhaps just as entertaining are a couple of video responses I found.

One run-on sentence from this guy. (Click the video..it's a guy talking, not the rampage again)


Expert analysis. Fat, mad, and no refund entitles the woman to go on criminal rampage. I love this! It's my favorite response. I believe she's being tongue-in-cheek but the fact that I can't decide makes it better. Works for me either way.


I like this guys attitude. He's pretty funny


And this guy....performing a one-man show recap of the incident


The video-response-jury awards McDonald's on this one, I believe. There are a ton more...most of which goof on the woman and "why is she at McDonald's?".

While I side with the rights of the customer, I believe I'm with Ronald on this one. The bucket of water? Ok..that would have been fun to throw...I think she lost me at destroying the cash registers.

Ok...this isn't related to McDonald's but just for shits and giggles..This woman destroys her drunken foe. The best is at around :34 when here daughter tries to show her something.

Bad Art + Sincerity = Magic

Say what you will about bad music, bad art, bad poetry...whatever. There is a word I'm searching for and if it doesn't exist I'm going to invent it. But it describes with style the feeling you get when you simultaneously realize that an artistic effort is both painfully bad and worthy of mockery...yet harmless, charming and confusing at the very same time. The result is usually laughter...but not the type of shitty "laughing AT you" sort...more of the appreciation/acceptance for the very reason that it is bad beyond ridicule.


Average Homeboy

Conan's Farewell

Here's Conan's last speech. Really nice and sincere. I'm not a fan of late night television and wouldn't typically include this stuff on this blog, but I really like what he has to say.

A Couple of Classics

Nice Friday afternoon. Decided to post a couple classics.

Who Needs A Movie? Great question, Fred...Let's find out


Yes...this one is real. In fact, I would upgrade it to so real it's just vivid. Raw. You'll see.
SPIRIT OF TRUTH


I'm trying to steer clear of being too damn mean-spirited. Simply shitting on everything is not always comedy. I will flirt with that notion in this case, though, as I direct your attention to beautiful douche perfection. This is too good to leave out. File under, "unintentionally funny".


Another great one from Jon LaJoie


This one is perhaps one of my all time favorites. It's from a guy named Brad Neely. He did a ton of great work for SuperDeluxe (which is sadly not around anymore). He's outstanding. Here's the first Baby Cakes video.


Do yourself a favor and click HERE for more Neely. Tons of talent, this guy.

Headlines

I love The Onion. Sometimes I think of headlines in the Onion style.

Local Man First To Point Out Rarity of Line For Men's Room


Big Johnson Somehow Thinks Of Another Dick Joke For Latest T-Shirt


Seafood Restaurant Searches For Slogan That Is Both Family-Safe And A Sexually Suggestive Double Entendre


Waitress With Cutest Handwriting Elected To Update Chalkboard Menu Again


A couple more without pics:

Internet Savvy Guy Calls Shenanigans

Inside Sources Reveal Oprah To Appear On Cover Of Next Month's O Magazine

Jeff Rules "The House That Jeff Built", Declares Jeff.

Local Man Nails Cool, Slightly Off-Centered Self Portrait For Facebook Page On First Take

The Elusive Boxer

A couple of years ago while visiting my grandfather, my wife and I marveled at a particular cabinet full of wood carvings. When I asked him about it, he plainly mentioned that he's been whittling for years. There were tons of really bad carvings but they had the quality of being carved with sincerity. I'm not sure what the word is for this, but my appreciation for this type of stuff is deep. Fast forward to the following Christmas when THIS arrived in a box from Grampa.

Look closely at the base...that's right. Behold. Mike freakin

Yes! If this actually looked anything remotely like Mike Tyson, I wouldn't want it on my desk.

My grandfather promised to make me a go-kart when I was ten. Still waiting. He promised to carve a gremlin for my wife. Still waiting. So...until Gramps rolls up in a go-kart with a gremlin riding shotgun, Mike Tyson will stand proud. Dukes up. Ready for action.

One oddity of note is that this particular Tyson is illusive in a Yeti sort of way. Look at my attempts with several old cameras to capture his prowess in some half assed artistic way. Tyson wasn't having it!

Attempt with a Smena8M

With my wife's Fuji:

Finally, my home made pinhole camera didn't stand a chance:

Turns out my Grampa is the best artist in the family.

Emplastro

You get the idea in the first few seconds but there's something hypnotic and hilarious about it. He's a famous videobomber in Portugal. More of these videos HERE

For my money though...the best photo/video bomb is still this guy:

Wild Kingdom

I've worked in stereotypical corporate offices before. I've seen meltdowns. I'm not in corporate America anymore but this makes me wish I was. These videos prove that we are all monkeys. The hidden camera makes it a bit like Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.


Like Chris Rock said...."there's always a reason...just don't DO it".


Remember the commercial where Willie B, the gorilla (RIP) beat the shit out of Samsonite luggage?


Maybe my favorite one of the bunch. For one....the guy just freaks. He goes from zero-to-bat-shit in 0.3. Two...nobody really intervenes. Three...well...there is no three...but I do love that the phone keeps ringing.


The best moment is at the very end.

Bar Fight

One of my favorites. It's been out for awhile but I'm compelled to post it because I love it.

As a rule, I will choose funny over timely. So forgive me if you see a video and it's old and that makes me behind the times.

Yoda Gives Crap Advice

I'm sure we all have some place in our hearts for the Star Wars movies. I know I grew up with them. I saw the first one at the drive -in theatre sitting in a '73 Buick. As a kid I loved Yoda. I thought he was cool and he gave good advice. However, after watching this clip with a fresh perspective two things come to mind. One...Luke is a bit of a whiney bitch. Two...Yoda's advice kinda sucks.

There is no try?

I notice you are about 900 years old, you live in a shit stain of a house with no wife, friends or neighbors. How about you TRY to clean up the place once and awhile. How about you TRY to shower and put on something other than that janky-assed Jedi snuggie?



Maybe then you could make some friends that don't have 6 eyes and an ass crack on their face for a change. Perhaps maybe you could have a girlfriend..maybe move to the city or something. In short...TRY. You are the most depressing being in the whole movie. TRY a mirror Master Yoda...or at least some toothpaste.

Your Head May Explode

Back in the 80's when Rock and Roll ruled, these guys got together and set some shit straight with respect to some awareness about some shit that needed your attention and donations and stuff.

This is so stunningly bad in an awesome way...I cannot add to this piece of art with mere words.

Just...behold.

...and by the way..if you don't recognize and/or fondly remember any of these voices or faces, I invite you to turn your attention back to your crap-filled-ipod-nano and leave the rock to these guys. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to flip my mix tape cassette.